Welcome to Train of thoughts!!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Choice of obssessions!

Life is full of choices. Some choices appear best only once after we make them. Some choices make us regret, while some give us confusion. Such a choice was made by me a few years ago that led me go through a life with full of twists and turns which is by far the most confusing part of my life. My life in JNTU College. Day one of my college, I was looking at it from a different lens. Along with my mediocre aptitudes I carried huge expectations, which were shattered or rather destroyed by the way my college presented itself in front of my wistful thinking. I had to drop fantasies which I had set earlier, start to digest the realities I faced, accept the standards I had to go through and enjoy the life with compromises that had come along. 

If there is anything that I need to start with, that would be about TEXT CHATTING. It became an obsession in my first year of college. In what way it has intrigued me was unknown to me, but I remember I was engaged in constant chatting on phone most often to distract myself from disappointments that college had brought in. This obsession continued throughout my first year. I have nothing to mention but chatting, low grades in math, amateurish behavior with fellow friends and lack of understanding towards life…That’s the way I was in first year. First year was finished pretty soon with attendance in class as first time ever. To top it all off there was no fresher’s party from our seniors which led to a party celebrated by ourselves and we called it with a name ITRUM which nearly too about 6 months to remember the name for me. Mention of ragging and about seniors would likely take another long story that brings a bitter shock and creates a trauma who had gone through it. 

By second year I understood every nook and corner of the college, conduct of exams and most importantly the conduct of management which is one thing that gets me on nerves even today. Result of exams was likely to be unpredictable almost all the time. Nobody really understood whether they really deserved the scores they achieved. Often students either used to get disappointed getting low scores in a few subjects or shocked to see high scores in the other. However, they used to balance out in the end though correction of papers lacked a bit of genuinty as we believed. Second year had finally ended with my interests surging towards sports that led to another obsession which I still carried out of college. Finally, there was an end to it with fresher’s party bringing an “ELIXIR” party which literally meant a life-healer. We hoped it really healed our lives further.

By the start of third year I was termed and treated as “day scholar” which I realized soon after I was being told and taught rigorously, however it only meant I come under studious category as assumed by most students in college. By third year we also came to know many things like canteen lacks a lot of facilities even after its renovation, management takes no responsibility in informing students of the schedule of events that take place in future, playing football or table tennis is the only entertainment that we could get in college, fifty percent of events and fests would suck by one way or the other, how much collecting the hall ticket a day before the exam is important, we pay development fee still there can’t be much of the development seen with it except that we needed to pay one extra challan for it all by standing in a huge crowd in a tiny bank that is present in far-end of college and finally we understood was we joined in JNTU. Degrading our own college seemed to be a habit we picked and half our time would have gone in talking cheap and downside of college. Its like almost every student had hated it vehemently.

Still not ended with third year, it stood very precious in my life. It almost brought in all the pieces of interests together, cleared off most confusions of life and a new obsession had finally begun that changed most part of my life. A new love was formed for learning English, soon it led me go dive in it deeper than I expected. This ensured to give me a good awareness towards English and completely fell in love in learning it further and further. This article from me couldn’t have really been possible to write if I hadn’t pursed my graduation in JNTU, credit goes to college indeed. Friends who were formed were a clear match with my interests which incredibly multiplied my interest….Final year was one thing I sought to mention in another article where I introduce my actual b.tech lyfe. :D

Monday, April 15, 2013

Create yourself before you be yourself!

He wanted change. Change that could ever be believed by any one. He found a secret. He had difficulties, problems, ailments everything as ever existed. Yet he knew how to solve them all. Now he changed into a perfect structure. Immunity at peaks, health became impeccable. Lot of positivity filling in, everyone who meets him could feel his presence of love and affection. Wealth is his innate property. He always created not bought or earned it. People love staying with him no matter what situation is. They liked his style, appearance more than anything his heart. That showered love and positivity. 

He liked a gal as the time passed. She stayed frightened for a while. Then she slowly started feeling what he is. She understood him personally. She got feelings on him. Those feelings which contained pure form love. That love that she always longed for. A feeling of intense care and love for him was created, that never be destroyed in this life. He started to realize that soon. They fell in love. They felt lucky for having each other. Not just for a moment, but for their life time. He gained knowledge all through his learning years. Understood relations better and learned how to mend them when there is a conflict between two. She understood him very much. She gave in her life for him with intense care and respect.

They stood as best couple. He always spent time to make her happy. She received it perfectly, not ignoring any bit of it. Only one fear prevailed between them. Fear of losing each other. Yet both surely knew that they never leave each other. He knew no obstacle that come could shackle their relation, because it is full of love and affection. He knew universe would always be supportive to such relation. She still feared for nothing. She feared of only losing him. She believed and feared simultaneously. Soon she lost her fear, coz of the confidence in him. Because she knows him now. He creates life, life of his own and their life. That’s why there was nothing that stopped him or ever will stop him. He created the perfect love he wanted. He could create it because he truly wanted it. He could create anything he wants because he believes in it and he feels it. 

Feel it.. love it… create it and most importantly believe in what you truly want…..!

Sunday, March 17, 2013

trust worthy?

Be careful of what you speak, they will understand you
Be careful of who you see, they will distract you
Be careful of who you hear, they may misguide you
Be careful of who you TRUST, they may CHEAT YOU

Trust! A simple feeling, but has a greater impact in our lives. You know what? You wouldn’t be reading this article in the first place if you had no trust in my writings, or someway you trust something in me that led you till here to read something of mine. That’s trust.

Last week I was going home by bike alone in the midnight. It was almost deserted all around, and silence prevailed all over with human sleeping was going just into deeper state. Suddenly, in the middle of the road one stranger was waving his hand asking for a lift along the road I was furthering. It was almost like streets have been wiped out by some catastrophic incident and I couldn’t see much of the human form anywhere around. Besides this, my stranger carried a look of a giant pig, with hair drooping over his back, swollen eyes which seemed to be either because of he was drunk or born with abnormality.

I was about 15 meters away and this guy’s picture was getting bigger in size while I was closing towards him. I couldn’t decide whether to help this poor guy in the middle of the road or to leave him considering my own safety in Hyderabad. We had wild terrorist attacks across the country, reasonable number of bomb blasts, uncountable cases of kidnapping, brutal gang rapes and mugging incidents. Hyderabad is no less for all these occurrences. Thinking of this, all of a sudden his presence looked frightful and menacing. One part of my brain was telling me to help this man and other part of it was saying not to trust anyone. And I couldn’t help him because I didn’t have Trust? Such a feeling is TRUST.

TRUST is illogical, we trust somebody they break it. If we don’t trust people, we cannot survive. It’s a blind feeling we all have to live with to live life. We have to TRUST a doctor, we have to trust a bus driver, and we have to trust a person in everyday to live life. There is no other way round. We have to live with it. On an end note I can only say we can all be careful, but not cynical. Remember being skeptical is different from being cynical. It is easy to break TRUST, but it takes years to build TRUST between people. Ultimately, one must also remember a BROKEN-TRUST is IRREPARABLE. Trust self, be trustworthy.  

Friday, March 8, 2013

She lost it all with just a smile

Her face lit up. It was a moment, her cheeks raised impeccably high with deep dimples forming a perfect outlay of her face contours. It was a moment; her eyes squinted with curvy freckles one either sides around her eyes. Her nose stood like a golden craft placed above those widened glossy lips. That was a moment of her SMILE. Rich smile, priceless, magnificent or breathtaking. None of the adjectives would best describe it.
That smile always either brought a tearing envy or a subliminal joy in those who were around her. It was inspiring, captivating and much of it was domineering. Her smile was a showering tool that spread unquestionable bliss that had a power to even free a prisoner in extreme slavery. Those who were caught in glimpse of her smile were arrested in the eternal grin. 

It wasn’t a smile of a cursory greeting, nor was it an attempt to grab attention or impress any of her audience. That smile wasn’t her trait just in physical; rather, it was innate and driven by deep cardinal muscles which were only filled by love, affection and care. She carried nothing but a smile. A real smile... 

Next had come an evil that was sweeping many; bunch of people who carried nothing but a disheveled grief. Their envy just broke everything of her smile. They robbed it altogether, filling too much of malign. She sensed nothing of the occurrence, nor was she aware of the evil that had come inside. This left a gloomy story further ahead. She had lost that precious gift that was incredibly inherent. She now smiles the same, yet it brings the shame. She fakes it now, causes a feeling of a lost-love. 

This leaves a gloomy story for all of us with a lesson ahead. A lesson to save that gift we all possess for a life time. She lost it all with just a smile. Just a smile that made all the difference… Just a smile that defined her best.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

smile it

You can shatter worst, elude ghost
When you smile, with a smile
Can heal all scars, go till Oscars 
When you smile, with a smile
You can look best when you put it on, where make-ups give just a faking tan
It wins you friends, in a shocking glimpse
Be a prince, with this lovely lens
Smile it on when you smile, with a smile when you smile
Lose it not ever again; savor it for an awesome gain
It’s a dazzling tool owned by every fool
Try it on and play it cool
So forget not, oh my friend
Smile it or be the same! Smile it or be the same!


We are not hurt coz they left us,
but coz of what they left behind us. 

Yet we can still smile not for what they taught us
but for knowing how others feel wen someone abandons us. 

We are not failed at any point in time
Here we learn how it feels to fail and knock a success in mean time

We are injured not to feel the pain,
but to create the hope that we can heal everything experience again,

Healing has a purpose,
Purpose to learn, to live and most of it all to serve another!

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Cherish the change forever

Beginning looks like a trouble, we need something to hold tight in a cuddle,
Staying strong like a pebble, making sure its not a bursting bubble!

Something deep says to give up once, fear inside roars it may go futile
That’s the time to stand and look up once, until a hope is brought to one stage of tougher mile

It is a test of patience to pass, a brutal battle between faith and an overpowered fear
Fighting so there is never a loss, there's only a subtle success coming near and clear

Soon you see something never seen or ever, such hardship would perish however
You will be brought to a place of change which you can cherish forever!

Monday, January 28, 2013


Relations always astound me, in the way they exist, in the way they grow, also more importantly, the way they get terminated. I’ve seen both set of people, one being happy with relations, on flip side who’ve just depressingly failed in keeping the relations for so long. But in these failed ones I saw one common phenomenon that is out of two in a relation, one is always happily moved-on, other is always regretful and dejected for letting them go. Now see, this is what amuses me almost all the time. 

Holding that thought for a moment, let us see this example. An orphan boy was walking on a road, he was quiet happy and content with his life, he always grew thinking that everyone is born like an orphan and should take care of themselves in this world. Not until he got maturity he realized that only he had none to take care of, and rest of the world had parents and relations with other people. This made him so unhappy and all through his life. So the point is maturity makes us needy of relations. After all nobody likes to live alone in this world.

Anyway, it takes a lot of maturity to act like a child and be forgetful of unpleasant things happening around us. Forth said, acting childish doesn’t always display the real maturity either. So, there is always a need of balance between being a child and an adult. Forgetting like a child, forgiving like an adult play better ball in the game of relations. Big hearts win small people, never the vice versa!

EXPECTATION, is a big bitch, most of it all it is a big relation sucker. It fills in more ego and pride instead of respect and judiciousness. Most of the times, expectation and hope are misinterpreted as same and not fully understood. Expecting someone to be with you is different from hoping you to be with someone. Expecting someone to be happy is different from hoping someone to be happy. Being watchful to expectation, could actually make a big difference in maintaining good relations. 

Understanding relations as two-way living is more important than anything else in relations. One can’t just hold a relation while the other let go of it. One can’t feed a dog which is not hungry; similarly one need not hold someone who can’t see the value of the other. However, any relation comes and flourishes with care, love, passion, respect and the most importantly with time. It is in giving and forgiving rather than taking and expecting. It is in understanding and helping rather than blaming and comparing. It is in respecting feelings of others rather than fulfilling our need of others. It is in small bits of care than in big gifts on birthdays. It is in spending time together than making time to be together. It is not in the greetings but it is in the feeling and intention. Relations are not creations; they are attitudes of two souls. Finally, if you lack good relations it is okay, but if you lack the right attitude, you probably have to regret the most. Remember relations can’t be created, but our attitudes sure can be! I’m working on it J