Relations always astound me, in the way they exist, in the way they grow, also more importantly, the way they get terminated. I’ve seen both set of people, one being happy with relations, on flip side who’ve just depressingly failed in keeping the relations for so long. But in these failed ones I saw one common phenomenon that is out of two in a relation, one is always happily moved-on, other is always regretful and dejected for letting them go. Now see, this is what amuses me almost all the time.
Holding that thought for a moment, let us see this example. An orphan boy was walking on a road, he was quiet happy and content with his life, he always grew thinking that everyone is born like an orphan and should take care of themselves in this world. Not until he got maturity he realized that only he had none to take care of, and rest of the world had parents and relations with other people. This made him so unhappy and all through his life. So the point is maturity makes us needy of relations. After all nobody likes to live alone in this world.
Anyway, it takes a lot of maturity to act like a child and be forgetful of unpleasant things happening around us. Forth said, acting childish doesn’t always display the real maturity either. So, there is always a need of balance between being a child and an adult. Forgetting like a child, forgiving like an adult play better ball in the game of relations. Big hearts win small people, never the vice versa!
EXPECTATION, is a big bitch, most of it all it is a big relation sucker. It fills in more ego and pride instead of respect and judiciousness. Most of the times, expectation and hope are misinterpreted as same and not fully understood. Expecting someone to be with you is different from hoping you to be with someone. Expecting someone to be happy is different from hoping someone to be happy. Being watchful to expectation, could actually make a big difference in maintaining good relations.
Understanding relations as two-way living is more important than anything else in relations. One can’t just hold a relation while the other let go of it. One can’t feed a dog which is not hungry; similarly one need not hold someone who can’t see the value of the other. However, any relation comes and flourishes with care, love, passion, respect and the most importantly with time. It is in giving and forgiving rather than taking and expecting. It is in understanding and helping rather than blaming and comparing. It is in respecting feelings of others rather than fulfilling our need of others. It is in small bits of care than in big gifts on birthdays. It is in spending time together than making time to be together. It is not in the greetings but it is in the feeling and intention. Relations are not creations; they are attitudes of two souls. Finally, if you lack good relations it is okay, but if you lack the right attitude, you probably have to regret the most. Remember relations can’t be created, but our attitudes sure can be! I’m working on it J