Here is what I transformed into. I finished my first exam today, came home opened up the computer and started blogging. People usually get depressed when then do their exam badly, at least not until they are habituated to a series of failures in every exam. But I have no such feeling of failure even though my first exam got screwed. I wondered what I turned into. I always had the fear of exam every semester. But this semester is different; it nearly looks like I lost interest in studies. I wondered once again why I really lost interest in academics all of a sudden. I thought for a while. Sat in a comfortable chair and brainstormed almost half hour. But it was all mysterious!
After all I attempted an external exam which was quiet evidently a huge thing for many people around me. Why was it not for me! God knows! However, I needed some rest after such a big exam attempt. Resting was in my schedule of previous semesters too. I started taking rest….
Unlike previous semesters, this time relaxing and resting was unusual. I didn’t find it peaceful to sit under air conditioning and have the pleasure of watching tv. Then I scrawled up on the floor looking for a nap. But I didn’t get sleep. I felt the tiredness inside yet still I didn’t get sleep unlike the earlier semesters…
Then I opened the computer, started writing this article. I started feeling good, almost like someone has pulled me up suddenly. I was back to life, with the peace that I was looking for. Tiredness of exam had disappeared; a sense of joy was built. I felt alive. I started feeling relaxed the moment the thought of writing an article crossed my mind. I couldn’t value the questions of morning’s exam as much as I valued to the lines of this article. In fact, I’m still surprised to say so. May be or may be not writing became a huge thing for me; I never wanted to measure how deeply I value it. Let it all be mysterious unlike previous semesters!